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The Business of Manifesting Business
In this episode Kelsey Aida and I discuss ways to help with manifesting business.
By listening to this episode you will learn how to focus on business connections and growth from a whole new perspective.
Hello, today we are talking with a special guest about manifesting and mindset. If you have a business and you been getting in your own way, or you think that there’s not enough to go around, as far as clients go, as far as time goes, meaning you have these limiting thoughts, then Today’s episode is going to be helpful for you. And I’m really excited to talk to Kelsey today about her business and how she uses the law of attraction, as well as efforts and, you know, taking inspired action to reach her goals in her business. So we’re gonna let her on to our live today on Instagram. And she’s been on.
She’s coming on.
Manifesting and Mindset
Hello, Kelsey. How are you? Hi, Ed, how are you? I’m good. I am excited to be chatting with you today, we have a lot of women who love all things mindset manifesting. And the degree of woowoo, I would say is all over the place, meaning some people aren’t really into it. Some people are like, but also, you know, I need to do less than I’m a type a perfectionist. But that’s why we have you on the show. So I would love to start and just have you explain your story. And what got you into what you do today and what you do.
Yeah, thank you. Thanks
so much for having me on. We had so much fun when I had you on my podcast, hi, vibe, minutes, I’m very glad to be doing this collaboration with you on your platform with your peeps. So as far as my story goes, um, I struggled with depression for a long time when I was in my late teens. And that led me on kind of a healing journey, a spiritual awakening, if you want to call it that.
Methods of Manifestation
And that’s when I really got into how energy works and how to feel better, and how to manifest your dream life and metaphysics and how to live my best life where I’m in alignment with feeling good and attracting to me what I want. So that’s kind of when it started when I was younger. And ever since then, I’ve just been teaching self empowerment, manifesting self love, because they all go together to help you to live the life that you desire. So today talking about manifesting as far as it pertains to business, and my personal story. I wanted to become a self help author, which I did.
And in order to do that, or manifest that I came like all of these downloads came to me of like, this should be the next step, do this next, do this next, do this next. That kind of led me to where I am today. And now my business is, well, I’m a hairdresser part time. That’s why I went to school for and I’ll probably do that for a while just because it’s fun. And I like it. And I do manifest my hair clients very specifically to it, we can get into that later, that exercise. But basically my business now is I work with clients one on one to help them manifest their genuine desires to help them master their emotions to help them feel better.
The Original Intention of Manifesting Business
And I have online courses I’ve written and published two books now. I host international retreats. So it all just blew up into this huge thing where I help people in all these different facets just from the one original intention of I want to be an author and help people to feel better and live their best life. I
love that. And I love that you have many passions and that you’ve been able to follow all of them without saying, Oh no, I can only do one thing or you know, sticking yourself in a box. Because I think a lot of people have a lot of passions. And they think the only way they can be successful. So if they stick to only one, but you’re proof that you can actually have many passions and be successful with it. So one of the things I want to ask you about is first just what is manifesting? How do you explain it to your clients? And then we can go from there?
What Does Manifestation Mean?
Yeah, great question. So manifesting, or the art of manifestation, as I like to call it is basically the process of living your life in a very intentional way and stating and realizing and going for what you want and what you desire. And doing it in a way where you are attracting this new reality to you or said in a different way. You are becoming an energetic match to someone who’s able to experience that reality.
So it’s like instead of just doing everything in the three real life world, you work on an energetic level to call in what you want, and to energetically match up with that so that it can happen much more quickly than let’s just say A more linear mindset of first don’t get this job, and then I’ll work my way up, and then I’ll make this much amount of money, and then I’ll get a promotion, and then I’ll buy a house like, manifesting allows you to give some space and trust to the universe to deliver to you exactly what you want, but maybe faster than how you thought you could get it alone, and maybe much more directly than going through all these steps.
Does that make sense?
How Manifestation Happens
It does. No, I like that. I like that definition of it. And I think what you’re saying, or what I’m taking away from that is that we have these certain beliefs about how it has to happen, and the order has to happen. And as soon as we realize that, we can be open and allowing to different ways of things happening. That it doesn’t have to, you know, go in a specific order. We don’t have to limit ourselves to a ceiling, the more we’re going to receive in our life, most likely, right.
And the higher like how we feel, because this is something that I talk about a lot. It’s just how we feel affects our actions and affects how we show up and what we’re experiencing, and what we’re looking for, to in our life our day. So it’s really important to set with the whole manifesting definition, it’s important to set yourself up to feel good to feel like you’re capable to feel like you’re excited about what you’re attracting and where you want to go.
Rather than feeling like everything has to be hard, or it has to you know, you it’s gonna take 10 years or all these things.
So how does somebody start to? Let’s say that somebody is very, like, I want to know, my steps, you know? How do they start to do this process? I know you have to define what you want for sure. So maybe you could just walk us through that and talk talk more? Yeah,
definitely, step one is figuring out what you actually want. Because it’s very hard to go in the direction of what you want, when you don’t know what it is, right? That’s like telling your GPS, oh, I want to go somewhere, I think but I don’t really know where and the series like, dude, you got to tell me exactly where so I can get you like a roadmap to go there. Right? So step one is identifying what you want. And I have two things to say about this. Because a lot of people, they think they know what they want, but they actually don’t know what they want. So here’s an exercise you can do to really get to the core desire. So let’s take business for example.
Why Do You Have the Goals that You Set?
Let’s say you want to have 10 clients a month. That’s your I want to manifest 10 clients a month. Cool. Why do you want to have 10 clients a month? I want to have 10 clients a month? Because then I’ll make 10k a month? And then I’ll be financially free. Okay, cool. Why do you want to be financially free? How do you think you’ll feel differently? When you have that financial freedom, as opposed to how do you feel now, I want to be financially free, because I feel like I can make my own schedule. I feel like I can do whatever I want. whenever I want.
I’ll feel liberated, blah, blah, blah. So you get to all these feelings. And then you can realize, Oh, I’m really after these feelings. It’s not so much about the clients, it’s not so much about the money. It’s about you think that if you have those clients, then you’ll finally have that permission slip to feel how you want to feel.
Digging Into the Deep Work
And the real deep work is, can you start to Little by little, or in a big way, feel how you want to feel in that future manifested reality. But right now, like, what’s stopping you from feeling that right now? Why are you putting conditions in the way of how you feel. And this is the work that I do with my clients, and I help them work through their limiting beliefs and blind spots and stuff. But really, that’s how you get to your genuine desire, which is very helpful to find. And it’s not to say that you can’t manifest the 10 clients or go for that, like, you can do all the physical 3d stuff, you can manifest all your surface desires, as I like to call them, because those are fun, and it’s great to achieve goals.
But why do you actually want it like, how do you think you’re gonna feel? And how can we get you to that feeling more quickly? Because the real kicker is, once you get to that feeling, it’s so much easier to be an energetic match to those clients and the clients will come to you. You’ll be like, where are all these clients coming from?
What is Your Energy?
Or you’re like, I don’t even need them anymore because I feel great. So it’s like as a side effect of feeling, how you actually want to feel the manifestations will come because you’re actually an energetic match to experiencing them because the manifesting journey is really like a healing journey. And it’s kind of like the universe’s way of putting like a carrot on a stick and like dangling it in front of us.
And it’s like oh, To motivate us to become the version of ourselves that we want to be, like the version of you in the future that has 10 clients is probably different, more evolved more healed, more expanded than you are right now. Otherwise, you wouldn’t want that the reason why you want things is because it causes you to expand, to grow, to evolve and to heal. So the more you can do the healing, expansion, growing work, the easier is to keep manifesting.
Pinpointing Your Feelings
Love that. Yeah. So everything we want is because we think we will feel better when we think that way. We can pinpoint those feelings, like you said, and say, Well, how can I start to feel that today? How can I start to experience that and even if it’s not in, like, going back to the money example, if you feel free and abundant, but maybe money wise, you have, you know, you’re just you can’t get yourself there yet, because you’re just so caught up in your conditions, right, that you feel free in another area of your life,
yeah, have to necessarily be in that specific niche area of your life, it’s just about cultivating more of that sensation that you think that you want to feel. Now, however, you can do it, maybe you already feel free in different parts of your life. Maybe when you go and take dance classes, you feel free or, you know, maybe you feel abundant when you notice all the food in your fridge, or there’s many like hacks to feeling how you want to feel. And it doesn’t have to be about the money in this case, like you said, so that’s a great point.
And what I liked about what you said is that the I think the biggest trap we all fall into is assigning our feelings and our happiness to conditions and conditions are never permanent. This is all physical, right? Like, so when we give our power away to I need this relationship to make me happy, or I need this job, or this amount of income to feel worthy or cool. Like I’ve made it or whatever. You’re giving away all the power you can feel right now. Yeah, something external. So how do we start to observe when we’re doing that and like, shift shift away from that?
Connecting with Your Goals and Feelings
Yeah, well, you’ll notice that you’re doing it by paying attention to how you feel, right? So when you tell yourself something like I can’t be happy until I achieve this goal. Or I’ll finally feel better when I lose 10 pounds or whatever. Does that feel expansive? Or does that feel constrictive? Do you feel more open when you think that thought? Or do you feel more closed and defeated when you think that thought? So it’s really the practice of noticing, and it’s not noticing to like, beat yourself up for doing that you just notice, and then you can choose differently? And just reframe and be like,
now is where all my power is. So how can I start to feel more like that now? And if you can’t think of ways to feel more like that now, what’s stopping me from feeling like that? Like, why am I not allowing myself to feel like that? Because there’s usually some underlying like sneaky motivational piece where you’re withholding good feelings from yourself as a tactic to make sure that you’ll achieve your goals.
Moving Towards the Goal
Yeah, right. Like, you think that I bought a really, really hard on myself and mean to myself so that I stay motivated to go move towards this goal. But really, that’s not right. Yeah. That’s not how it works. So yeah.
And my question for people who are stuck in that loop is, would you rather be living from a place of motivation where you constantly have to motivate yourself? Or would you rather live from a place of inspiration, where you already feel great and happy and inspired, and you’re going to take all the action in the world and it’s actually going to be energetically aligned, and it’s going to feel great, and you don’t need to be motivated at all? Because you’re inspired to do it? It’s a different sponsoring energy.
Yes, yes. And Happy journey leads to happy ending, right? But a terrible journey you hate usually leads to something you can’t sustain when you get there or you not the result you want. Right. So what would be you brought up there was a point you just made about now I forgot what it was. He said that. Motivation versus inspiration. So I want to go back to earlier you said you help women with and people with self empowerment. How does somebody who’s maybe been really hard on themselves or they have an inner critic voice? So he’s like, you can’t do that.
Or you know, You’re lame. Obviously you start to, I know, you have to listen to that voice. But what is it like rather than being like, okay, all of a sudden, I’m going to have positive affirmations.
Yeah, he’s great. I
feel like that it’s like the right How do you So what are some ways to start to empower yourself? Without it feeling fake?
Yeah, it’s like that inner battle, right? If you notice that you’re doing one thing, you try to do the opposite to the extreme, but that other thing is like still there. So what I do with my clients is, we really get to the root of like, where did this inner critic start? Like, where did you learn to talk to yourself like this? Like, did your mom talk to your dad like this? Did your dad talk to you like this?
Did your teacher talk to you like this, like we learn how to be mean, it’s not really natural. So figuring out the root cause is super beneficial, because then you can be like, Oh, I get why I do that. Now. It’s not actually me. It’s just a coping strategy or a mechanism that I picked up and learned along the way. But clearly, it’s not working for me. So now when I noticed that I’m doing it, I’m going to have compassion for
Okay, this is something I picked up in my childhood. This is something I learned from so and so. But with the awareness, you can have the space to choose better. So you notice that you’re doing it, and then you don’t have to be super positive. Instead, you just give love to that part of you for being like mistaken, and having a bad strategy. And then you choose differently, if that makes sense.
So it’s really a journey of like, self awareness and self compassion. That’s what heals, like, the parts of you that are very, like dysfunctional, and self sabotage II. And then from there, you just start to notice when you’re doing that thing, and you just give love to that part, like team, that part of me is so confused. It just thinks that this is the way like being mean, it’s gonna help but it doesn’t help is I’m just gonna give that part of me love that will calm her down. And then you move on with your day and do something empowering
moment. Yeah. So also, when you have a inner critic voice, I think so many people realize, like, maybe watching this, we on autopilot in our day? Yeah. It’s I think the first thing if you rather than jumping into all of a sudden, you need to start, you know, first, you need to just notice what your patterns are. What are the thoughts like because we live on autopilot, a lot, a lot of people pay attention to their thoughts. And a lot of people think that their thoughts are out of their control. It’s just, yeah, how they react to things right?
So. But truth is, your thoughts are one of the only things in your life that you can control. And it directs a lot of things that you do and how you feel and all that. Right. So how I like to say like, how can you think on purpose? How can you write? So what would be for people who feel like I’m a victim to my thoughts? Or I’m on autopilot? Or I’m in attention? Is there? What should they do?
Yeah, so the great thing about becoming more aware of what you’re thinking and how it’s causing you to feel is that the awareness alone creates so much healing, sometimes you don’t have to take any more steps other than to just notice when you’re doing it. A practice that really helps people to separate themselves from their thoughts. So they can be like watching their thoughts happen to them, instead of engaged with the thought is to just do a daily breathing or meditation practice where you learn how to observe your breath, observe your body, observe what’s happening in your mind.
Manifesting Business and Meditation
And I like to envision like when I’m meditating, I’m like sitting in this little chair in the back of my brain watching all the thoughts go by. So I’m not my thoughts. I’m just watching them. And I can see ones that are disempowering, I can see ones that are empowering. And when you can separate yourself enough like that, and watch what’s going on in your mind. It makes it easier to pick and choose the thoughts that you would rather be thinking or rather be engaging with
love and yes, observing, becoming the observer. And not the you know, you are not your thoughts. You are not your limiting beliefs. You’re just the observer of those things. And you can decide, do I want to keep this? Do I want to discard? Do I want to edit it? And there’s a book called love. There’s a couple books I like, and I’d love to hear more about books you like about manifesting, but two I really liked one was called the greatest secret. It’s not the original secret book. It’s like more creative version. And she talks all about how like, this isn’t real. Observing everything. Physical, you’re like forever gonna be energy. And this is just your costume right now.
All this stuff. But then there’s also a book called the Zen and art of happiness. And that one, just, that’s more of like a Buddhist book, but it’s the whole message is everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me. Even if I can’t tell it right now, I can choose to look for why and he had a really horrible situation that happened to him.
Searching for Meaning
And he chose to, and it’s kind of like that book Man’s Search for Meaning. Were like horror. conditionally can happen, but it’s up to you how you respond and what you choose to think about those. And so it’s not not necessarily about manifesting, but it’s just about how we can, how we can choose our outlook. Right? So what to say about your favorite manifesting books or like, practices that you do things like that.
Yeah, I want to touch on the perspective piece that you’re getting into, because really, our life is not our our circumstances. I mean, that’s one part of our life, but our life is like, our emotional experience based on how we respond to our circumstances, right. And our well being has a lot to do with the meanings that we assign to things right. So for example, someone could get fired. And then they make that mean, oh, I suck at everything, I’m never going to make money, I should just stop living, I’m a loser. Or you could make that mean, oh, this is my opportunity to finally start that business. I’ve always wanted to start, this is a sign I need to move on with my life.
I didn’t even like that job. Anyway, it’s about the meanings that we assign to things. And the meaning is not really inherently there. We, because we love to put meaning on everything, right? Or, for example. Um, what else? Let’s say you get dumped, right? That could mean that you should never love again, love sucks. It never works out for me, blah, blah, blah. Or that could mean, oh, cool, I have an opportunity to be with myself some more look for a better partner who actually wants to be with me.
I’m going to use this time to do all the things I’ve been wanting to do. It’s all about what you make things mean. So are you giving things empowering stories? Or are you giving things stories that make you feel like sh t? That’s the question.
What Are Your Circumstances?
Wow, yeah, I’m so I’m really glad you brought that up. Because also, too, you don’t even need to assign any story. It’s something great neutral. Like, if you really yeah, I you know, if we have circumstances, meaning I go my work hours are nine to five, that’s when I’m there. Okay, I have a cat, whatever. But then the meeting part can, that’s where people get I think people struggle to separate their circumstances from Yeah, what? Like, they think No, no, it has to be bad. It is bad. Because I it just either society label something as bad or whatever, right? Oh, you giving that example to to allow people to separate their circumstances from the meaning they’re assigning to them? I think that that’s a really good point you just made and what about, so going back to favorite that along the way? books?
Yeah. Books, I’m a big book person two books on self talk, I actually have to plug my own book. It was my first book that I wrote Exactly. For this reason. I felt like affirmations and self talk were so phony and everyone was just doing the whole fake it till you make it approach and that just does not work. Like how many people raise their hands in the comments have been like, Okay, I’m going to use affirmations now. That’s gonna change my life. And
then you’re like, I want a million dollars. Okay, my new affirmation is, I’m a millionaire. You’re like, going around saying, I’m a millionaire. But
you feel so stupid, because you’re not a millionaire yet. So you’re just lying to yourself and yours make yourself feel worse. I really wanted to create a book that taught people how to use authentic self talk, that’s more empowering. So instead of saying, like, I’m a millionaire, you can say, I’m open to becoming a millionaire in this lifetime. I look forward to becoming a millionaire. I’m learning what it takes to become a millionaire. Things like that. So you soften it to make it resonate with where you are. But still, it feels empowering and exciting. Without being fake.
So my, I don’t know if I said the title. But my book is called #ACTUALLYICAN, the Art of Affirming yourself to Greatness, and it basically has affirmations for all areas of your life. And then they’re organized into like, what mood you’re in about the area. So if you’re feeling like math, about your finances, like there’s affirmation suggestions for that to help boost your mindset and your energy around that topic. It’s like a new way to approach self talk that’s more authentic and more efficient, because when you’re just lying to yourself, it doesn’t really do much. So that’s a great one.
As far as other books that I’m loving, like with manifesting and stuff. When I was new to my manifestation journey, I love studying Abraham Hicks, so anything is really good. And then when I got into like, more advanced manifests I became more interested in like, why isn’t my manifestation coming? What’s stopping me from receiving what I’ve asked for and blah, blah, blah. And so there’s actually not too many books out there on that. So I’m writing one called why the law of attraction works for some people, but not you. And it’s kind of like the next level like troubleshooting of
like, okay, I
did my vision board, I said, My affirmations I made a dream jar. And I told the universe what I wanted, and it’s not here, what the heck. So that’s, like, all about releasing resistance and doing the healing work to align with what you want. Because it’s not. I mean, it is as simple as they say, but like, it’s not as simple as they say, if that makes sense. Like, it is as simple as setting your intentions. And then hopefully it comes. But in between that space where you’re waiting, there’s a lot you could be doing that hindering the manifestation or inviting it faster. So um, yeah, that’s nice.
Yeah, let’s talk about distance. Because I think that’s why a lot of people aren’t seeing what they want. So tell me more. Where do we start with that?
Yeah, um, well, there’s a lot of different ways that resistance can show up. So first, it’s identifying it, which I think can be tricky to do on your own. So it helps to have like a facilitator who can help you with your blind spots. But I’ll show you where a lot of where it shows up for a lot of people. So a lot of times resistance can show up as a limiting belief that you might not even know that you believe so this could be like a belief in your subconscious mind that perhaps says, I’m rich people are assholes.
If you believe secretly, in the back of your mind that rich people are assholes, you will not want to manifest a lot of money, you will self sabotage, you will energetically be like, Don’t bring the money to me, because you don’t want to be an asshole. You don’t want to be a bad person, right? So it’s a conflicting belief that like stops your desire.
Your Inner Critic
Or another example is like, different aspects of us different parts of us, you know how we were talking about the inner critic, that would be like, one part of you, but there’s probably also a part of you, that’s like a perfectionist. And another part that’s like, an overachiever. Another part, that is like obsessed with cats and whatever, like, we have all these personalities, and aspects and parts of us.
And sometimes they’re not on the same page as you conscious. So in your conscious mind, you say, I want all this money, and different parts of you are like, No, we don’t want the money that’s going to destroy our life, that’s going to be bad for x y&z that’s gonna cause more problems, that’s gonna make your family want to take advantage of you, that’s gonna blah, blah, blah, X, Y, and Z.
And so that’s resistance, because it’s like a tug of war, some of you wants it, so you doesn’t want it. So you can’t move the energy all in one direction, right? Or another example is just like, resistance feels like stress. If you’re very stressed out person, you’re carrying a lot of resistance in your body. So the work would be how can I heal that? How can I bring resolve? How can I feel less stressed?
And, how can I relax so that my body opens energetically, and then you can draw things into you, because like a closed door, nothing’s gonna get in the room, you got to open the door for the air to flow. So there’s a lot of different ways that resistance shows up. But those are some like the more common ones I
The A-Ha Moment
Oh, see, I love this I and the allowing thing. Like, to me, that was a big aha moment where not like one major thing happened. Oh, I need to allow my desires. But I would say that I have limiting beliefs about I have to work really hard to get what I want. Or if I can’t do X, Y, and Z, because that would lead me. You know, that would take away from x. ABC. Right? So I think I had to, um, sometimes I think we have to test ourselves and just be like, I’m gonna try it. And I’m gonna experiment and maybe you maybe I’m right, but maybe I’m also wrong. And I found that when I would allow and like, just chill out and be like, I don’t know what’s going on.
Whatever happens. I don’t know. We’ll see. But when I chilled out if I was wrong, yeah. beliefs, right. So somebody said that anxious, but in the chat here. And actually, can somebody in the chat put what time it is because I have to keep track of time and I can’t
I think I got it. Okay. Thank you. 30.
Oh, perfect. Okay, we’re good. So with anxiety, how, um, how can somebody manage
that? Because that’s Yes. And yeah, so this is really interesting when it comes to manifesting in the law of attraction because when you learn like law of attraction 101 you learn that you attract what you feel and then it makes you scared to feel anxious. So you’re like, oh, Crap, I can’t feel anxious because I’m going to manifest more stuff that’s going to stress me out.
But actually, it’s kind of like the reverse is true. Because in, in order to heal or create resolve with your anxiety, you have to actually let it play out in the body. So what I do with my clients is I’ll be like, close your eyes, just relax your body and let your anxiety rise and tell me what it feels like.
And they’ll say, oh, it feels like heat. In my hand, it feels like a tightness in my chest, it feels like a headache. And I just have them sit with that feeling and focus on their body. And you will be so amazed how quickly the anxiety goes down, and they come to a calm space. Because feeling is why I say feeling is healing like that’s your your emotional body knows how to create resolve and how to heal itself.
But we don’t let it because we don’t like feeling uncomfortable. So we say, Oh, I don’t have time for anxiety, I’m not gonna engage in that that’s low vibe, those are negative thoughts. But it’s not so much about the thoughts. It’s more about letting it play itself out and heal itself through the body. So that’s something that I work on with my clients is just feeling things to their capacity, and they feel themselves and if and if anxiety is a reoccurring theme for you, the best thing you can do is change your relationship to your anxiety, like why is your anxiety there?
Probably because or I’ll tell my personal story, I’ve always had anxiety, I’ve always been sensitive, I’ve always worried. And I realized that my anxious part, you can even name these parts. It’s really fun. So let’s say mine’s like nervous, Nellie or nervous, Kelsey, or whatever. So that part of me, when I talked to her and get to know her, and I started relationship with her, she basically told me, I’m here as the pre worry, I just don’t want you to have to worry in real life. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.
So I’m just like, going to be skeptical about everything. And just watch out for red flags. I’m going to be super over prepared. It’s for your own good. And I was like, Oh my god, she loves me so much. I mean, she stresses me out. But you can at least love the intention of your anxiety once you understand what it is. So this is like a practice of radical self love that I work on with my clients. And it’s getting to the core of what that part of you is trying to do for you. Because it wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t trying to help in some way.
Yeah. Okay. And then
once you can see its intentions, you just love it for its intentions. And you learn how to hold space for your anxiety. Because anxiety doesn’t have to mean that something bad is actually going to happen. Anxiety just means I’m feeling anxious right now. Yeah, and it’s a part of the human experience. It’s a fleeting emotion, if you actually sit with it, it will go away faster than if you constantly resist it. And it’s really just a temporary experience in the body. That doesn’t have to mean anything other than you’re nervous, or you just care a lot and you want things to work out.
Love that. So feel your feelings. You don’t need to block them. You don’t need to act like they’re not there. And you don’t need to act like you’re not going to get good things because you’re feeling you’re you’re blocking.
Yeah, honestly, feeling your feelings allows the energy to flow and to heal. And it’s when you don’t feel your feelings that you become a match to those feelings. So let’s say you’re always stuffing down your anxiety, you never allow yourself to like play out that emotion, that anxiety is going to like bubble up inside of your emotional body. Like it doesn’t go away. It just festers right? And then that becomes your point of attraction. Because we don’t just manifest from our conscious thoughts we manifest from that place, too.
So what’s going on for you internally? Do you have resolve and wellness? Because that’s going to reflect in your outer reality? Or do you have turmoil that you’ve stuffed down. And if you do that the universe wants you to heal and evolve and expand, it’s just going to keep giving you opportunities for you to feel that feeling. AKA it’s going to keep sending you circumstances that make you feel that way so that you’ll actually feel and move on and feel better long term.
Yeah, and there’s two things you pointed out. One is when you have a feeling, it’s up to you what kind of story you put on top of that, what most reason, most people don’t like feeling their feelings because when they feel it, they add all this stuff like Ah, it’s so bad. I need to stop. Oh, yeah. And so just having the feelings sitting with it. It’s there observing it like you said, let what how does that feel in your body that’s so much more observant, less reactive than adding and there’s a quote about like, you will have there will probably be pain in your physical life like you probably
Yeah, right. But the suffering you add to it is where you’re in control of that. This option, right? Yeah, so I’m really good tips with that. And then when it comes to like, Okay, so let’s go back to the I love the naming, and
the naming of the parts, it’s fun. Yeah.
And with your feelings, they’re there for a reason. They, like your anxiety was trying to help you. I was like, I’m just gonna worry about everything now. So you don’t have to let her happened yet to the cause of worry. But I’m just gonna be here for you. So I think the other question we have to ask is, why is this feeling trying to be here for me and help me like, what is it trying to do? Or accomplished?
Or what’s it? What do I want to make it mean? Like, right? So how do so? Okay, so like, going back to naming it and saying, How do you discover why it’s how did you discover that you Kelsey had that because she was trying to protect you from future worry? Did you do
Yeah. Well, I, I’ve been doing parts work with the practitioner for a long time. And now I do it with my clients, but you can actually do parts work with yourself. So if you’re doing it solo, what this can look like, is writing down questions that you want to ask this part of you. So why are you here? When did you become a part of me? How do you help me? What do you want for me? What do you want for us? And, what do you need from me?
It’s basically like having any other healthy relationship. You got to get to know it, what it means what it wants, what it loves, what it hates, um, and then you basically do like a channeling exercise or like an acting exercise where you become that part of you. So like, let’s say, so I actually like what people do is that my retreats and we like take turns. So like, I would interview your part.
And like, you could interview my part, and then we take notes for each other. But I’m in a solo setting, you would write down the questions, and then you once you have the questions, you take a moment and you get into the character. So if I’m going to be like anxious, Kelsey, I’m just gonna, like, let go of all my other parts for a few minutes, and just solely come from that perspective.
And I’m probably gonna notice that I’m getting nervous. I’m gonna feel like I’m in a hurry, you know, you take on that aspect. And then you go through the journal and you answer the questions as that part of you. Does that make sense? So it’s like a way to interview yourself, but through the journal.
And then at the end of it, you say, I release myself from being this aspect and all aspects. So you don’t get like stuck in that part is the whole practice to it. And then you can read what you wrote and just have that self awareness of like, Oh, that’s why this part of me is here. This is how it’s trying to help me. It’s so much easier to understand it and love it and include it as a part of yourself once you just see the truth of it, because no part of you is actually bad or malicious.
Not even the self sabotaging parts, they’re all trying to help you it’s just a matter of, are they doing it in a beneficial way or a detrimental way? And how can you give them more efficient strategies, which is what I do with my clients?
Yeah, love it. And what about a morning? Do you have like a morning journal practice are anything that helps you just stay deliberate about your thoughts and not turn on autopilot?
Yeah, so something that has helped me and I don’t do this every day anymore, but especially in the beginning, it helped me a lot was to have a journaling, gratitude practice. So every morning, I would just rip out my journal before I looked at my phone before I went to pee before you do anything. It’s important to do this when you’re like waking up still, because it’s a good headspace to like, program your brain for the day. And I would just open my journal and think of at least three things minimum that I was thankful for.
And it can be something big and profound, like I’m thankful for this great life, or it could be something stupid, like, I’m grateful for my slippers, or I’m grateful that it’s almost breakfast time, or I’m grateful that the sun is out today or whatever it is. So you can write as many things as you want.
The more the merrier. It’s going to cultivate a vibration of gratitude, which is a great one for manifesting. And that just kind of helps just get you on the right foot for the day. And then if you want to take it to the next level before bed, what I like to do is write down good things that happened to me that day, no matter how small so I saw a butterfly, someone who held the door open for me. I signed a new client. Someone enrolled in one of my courses. I watched my favorite show, I ate a good meal. And what this does is it actually reprograms the neural pathways in your mind to always look for what’s right. what’s working and what’s good.
Yes. And what do you like about yourself too if you guys struggle with inner critic, write down three things you and it doesn’t have to be you know, I like my eyes. I like that. I’m I like That I’m, you know, I’m passionate about my work. I like that, you know, I took care of myself today and went for walkers. So, um, yeah, I think those are really good questions. And Kelsey, do you ever? I’m just curious, do you when you’re doing hair when you’re doing hair styling stuff ever come up with your clients? Are you kind of just like, Oh, you know?
Of just like oh good you know um yeah, yes and no. Like people will always be like how can we only do hair once a week like it was so hard to get in with you. And I’m like well that’s what it does. I’m actually really a self-empowerment author and a blogger and I host retreats and I have a podcast and they’re like well I didn’t know you did all those things. And I’m like yeah that’s actually like my main thing and hair is now just like my side thing that I do to get out of the house and be around people and have fun and create things with my hands instead of just my mind.
But yeah sometimes it comes up sometimes it doesn’t and then when it does you know people always go in with the questions they want to know how to fix their life and blah blah blah. But I’m just one of those people that has a sign on their forehead like heal me help me or not me but like it says to people like come here this is the safe space tell me all your problems.
I’m just like one of those people that has that energy so it doesn’t surprise me that I became a coach. Totally and I love I’m a big fan of like if something works for you and you like it and it makes you happy like okay cool I’m not the kind of person who, like, I need to know exactly how neuroscience every step works. I have to believe this. Oh go ahead. Well, I was gonna make an analogy it’s like your tv.
Like you don’t have to understand the complete science and every energetic aspect of like how your tv works but you get to watch it every day and you can change the channels. And as long as you understand like okay here’s the remote here’s how i change the channels here’s how, I do the volume, if it’s not connected to the wi-fi like I just put in the password. Like as long as you know the basics and it’s working for you who cares if you understand everything else about it.
So everyone can find me at my website which is just kelseyaida.com. If you want to work with me one-on-one in any of the capacities that we talked about today you can go to kelseyaida.com. Coaching retreats, I host retreats. those are fun. We do a lot of this type of work that’s all on the website. And if you like hearing me talk about awesome stuff that makes your life better then you’ll probably like the podcast which is called High Vibe’n It and actually we had Hailey on the podcast. So go back and find that episode.
I don’t know which number it was but it was a great episode. So yeah that’s where you can find me and of course on social media. Follow me and watch my stories because usually when I get those good downloads I go straight to the Instagram story so watch those. Will do. Thank you so much. It was so fun to be on your podcast as well and we’ll talk soon. Yeah, thank you, bye. Bye guys.
About Kelsey Aida
After escaping the battle with dysthymia depression, Kelsey dedicated her life to the study and practice of masterful living. Today, as an activist for inspired change, Kelsey shares with you what she has learned in her study regarding all things good. In the hopes of helping you achieve the same positive fire for life that she have cultivated for herself.
- Complimentary Business Consult
- Health Coach Nation: Marketing, Business, & Mindset for Health Coaches
You can find Kelsey on her website here.