Methods of reinventing yourself and your business
In this episode, Barbara Ellison and I discuss reinventing yourself and your business.
By listening to this episode you will learn new methods for reinventing your business as well as yourself.
Today I have a very exciting guest, Barbara Ellison. And I loved meeting Barbara on Zoom for the first time a couple weeks ago. She’s also from Illinois like me, and I think I’m in Chicago, right? Yes.
And. Barbara is going to share a little bit about herself and what she does. And we’re going to talk today about how you if you’re listening, can reinvent yourself in business. If you ever feel like man, I’m starting over or I had a big setback, or I feel overwhelmed or whatever. Barbara and I can relate. And we can we can share our own journeys and go from there. So. Barbara, why don’t you introduce yourself, and we’ll start there. Well,
Hi. How are you, Hailey? First of all. Hailey, thank you so much for having me. This is just always fun to be able to share some words of things that have gone on in our lives. Because people need to hear our stories.
So thank you so much for letting me share mine. For myself, my mission is to make happiness the norm rather than the exception. And because I truly believe that each one of us deserves to lead a happy, healthy, financially free and abundant life.
The thing is, is when when I got that mission, it started has a bit of a tragedy. Because I lost my husband 10 years ago. And at the time, when I woke up from the widow’s fog, after about a year and a half. I was like, Oh, brother. Now what?
And. In that moment, and I can tell you exactly where I was. When that moment was that I woke up and said, Okay, I cannot go on like this for another moment. The thing was, it was Hailey, it was the scariest moment.
Because right at that right, then I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, what I was going to do for the rest of my life, because I had always defined myself by the labels that I had put on myself, you know, and the the end Society of being a wife and a mother.
Then I was divorced. And then I was a success again, because I was a failure after my divorce. Well, then I was a success again, because I got remarried, and then became a grandmother. But now I was a widow. And I love the name of your show, reinventing yourself. That’s exactly what I had to do. Yeah, because I had no idea who I was. And but I realized, but in that moment, the only thing I knew I knew what I didn’t want. So I guess that was a step in the right direction. I knew what I didn’t want. But I had no idea what I did want. Right?
Luckily. I had this random phone call about hey, would you be interested in learning how to do online marketing? I went online marketing, how do you mark it on on, you know, how do you do online marketing? But it intrigued me. I went okay. So. I think that’s the biggest thing that I like to share with people. Be open to when something just random happens. Sometimes just be open to hearing that little nudge that okay, this might be something that would be okay to maybe possibly look at. And. So, That’s kind of where it started. But. From there, I can now look back on the journey.
That oh, wow, it has just been amazing. And, you know, that’s what I want for everybody to find that little spark that. And I think that’s the biggest thing. But it’s like, so many, so many my clients, they people say to me, Well, how do you get started? Just fine. Find that one little spark. And then just start because from that you don’t have to know everything. Right. I did not know what the next step was going to be. Mm hmm.
I didn’t know didn’t know and but I can look back now and go, oh, that’s why that happened. Oh. That’s where that step led to. So from that online marketing, just random thing. In fact, I just talked to him again. Yesterday. I just touched base with him and said, You know what his name was Michael. I said, you know, Michael, you were the beginning. Ah, and now like eight years later, that’s fun.
And. It was it was just a touch base and it was like I said, But you started it. Well, then he introduced me to something else from that something else. I was introduced to a coaching program. Nice! And it was called the ultimate game of life.
So that was a year long program. Well, my coach was Phil, Phil, black kudos, Phil. And he said, Well, you know what the other company that I am doing marketing for that I coached for is having a seminar in Montreal. Well, I’m originally from Montreal. He said, Yeah. And it’s next month, I went. I said, gee, I’m going to, I’m going to Montreal next month. So, I went to it.
That was amazing. Because it was personal development. I knew nothing about personal development. All I knew was that in this coaching program, we were talking about, you know, finding out who you are, what your purpose is, what your passion is, things that you can do to help you to build a business. So that was kind of where I was coming from. So personal development will Okay, what does that what does personal development have to do with business?
Yeah, right. Everything?
Well, yeah. Now, at the time, it was like, I was trying, I was building an online marketing, right? They didn’t, we didn’t talk about mindset, we didn’t talk about all of those things. So personal development. So I went to the I went to it. And I Hailey, I am very honest with people, the only reason I went was because Phil asked me to, I felt bad that I’m going to be in Montreal, it’s only 10 minutes from my sister’s, where I was going to be staying, it would be really tacky of me to not go for at least the first session.
And it was a three day event. First session. And so and that’s what I was gonna leave every intention to leave. Hailey, I was glued to my seat. And three days later, it was like, This is what I want to do. This is what is going to be part of my business. And that’s, that’s kind of where it started. It just was that about the personal development, because you cannot possibly give to somebody else but you don’t have yourself.
Yeah, so I started me on the road to doing what I do now. Because from there, I was introduced to being a personality science trainer, which I love doing, and that expanded my coaching and so and now as I’ve gotten older now I coach, midlife, midlife men, because so many people are like I was in my mid life. Have no idea that and I think what it is, is I’ve had so many people say to me, but you know what?
Yeah, I’m just tired of not knowing what I want. I’m tired of just being kind of rudderless. It’s kind of the it’s like they get to that point where they wake up and realize that the life that they are leading is not the one they want to spend the rest of their life doing. Well, they’re getting up to that. Oh, well. Yeah, I’m going to be retiring in a few years. So then want to my kids are going to be grown, then what? An empty nester. So then what? Yes. And they have no idea how to change. They know they want to though. Yeah, I think what that starts with, like, I knew that moment that I knew something had to change.
Right? Yeah. Well, I love that. I mean, there’s so many things to take from your story. Number one, first of all, I think that how you turned a tragedy into Wait a minute, this is a moment to reflect this is a moment to think about what do I want moving forward, and you allowed your future to be bigger and brighter than your past and say, you know, I’m not going to stay stuck here. I’m not going to just give up. And what else is possible for me and you didn’t know all the house, you didn’t know all the answers. But you took the first notch, you took the first steps you and then one thing adds to another and you meet somebody else. And then this happens. Then. That happens.
And. You don’t know in the moment, like this is how it’s gonna go and unfold. But then you look back and you’re like, Wow, that was a really good thing that led to another really good thing that led to it. And I always say, because I had a moment like that in my life when I worked in the startup world and business development marketing, tire team got let go. And it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But in the moment I was crying. I was upset. Because like, what am I going to do?
I just signed a year lease yada, yada. And, um, and it ended up being one of the best things. So the way that you kept your eyes and ears open without needing an immediate you know, here’s what to do next. And here’s how it’s gonna go and here’s all the house is courage. It takes courage. And I love that you did that for yourself. And I’m sure right now You’re thanking yourself for oh, yeah,
How to get clear about what you WANT
I and I know that now. And yet at the time, I just thought that it was surviving and not surviving in a bad way. But just I need to know what the next step I need to, I need to do what I need to have a life that is that I that I like living. Some people, they get to that point, and they and it just breaks my heart. When I hear some of the people will I’m just going to go home and sit and watch TV. Yeah. No, don’t do that.
And, and one of the examples that I share with people, my dad and his friend started work at their company on the same day. 35 years later, they retired on the same day. I only lost my dad two years ago. I’m 71. Wow, I lost him two years ago. He was 102. His friend who retired on the same day lasted six months.
Wow. Dang. Yeah. Exactly.
That is unfortunately, becoming quite prevalent. Yeah, people are coming out of corporate. Actually, man, they’re coming out of corporate, they have built their corporate career, they’ve climbed the ladder. And now they realize that their the ladder is against the wrong building. Right? They’re not liking what they’re doing. They’re not liking what they’re seeing.
They don’t like the stress. And now they’re facing retirement next week or next year? And they’re like, What am I going to do? Right? Their wife is already saying to them, You better find something to do. Because you are not going to come home and just sit here saying that. And it’s like, but and yet other women are in the same boat?
Mm hmm. Well, I think there’s two things. One, being able to be a person who appreciates the contrast in your life like the, like you had a in a moment, obviously, it’s normal, and you probably should be sad that your husband passed away. That’s tragedy, but at the same time, you didn’t let it what’s the word? Just completely stop you from growth and ever, ever moving forward.
Tips for responding to obstacles in life and business
And you learn to understand that life is gonna have these obstacles and, and be negative sometimes. But at the same time, how you handle it, it’s how you respond, and all that. And I think you had a growth mindset that carried you through. I also, the other thing that you just mentioned is so many people just say well, what if, okay, I want to do something, I’m bored.
And. I want to do something that I’m passionate about in my life. But I don’t know what that looks like. And what if I do it? And then my kids move back home? Or what if I do it and then this happens? And then I lose money? And and you ask all the what ifs about every negative outcome that could possibly happen instead of what if this is amazing? What if this was meant what I’ve been meant to do my entire life?
What if this was like the best experience ever? And I think we our brains are wired to focus on what if this is terrible and goes horribly wrong. But we need to ask what if it goes amazing what if I meet amazing people set yourself up for that expectation, right.
And that’s what I have. I look back and I have made such amazing friends. And yet, and right now, so many of them are on Zoom because of all the craziness is going on. And yet I have friends that are in Australia, I have friends that mean that we are close friends that we talk to each other all the time, but we’re gonna do it on Zoom. I wait for the day when we can all get together in a group. And it just really is. It’s fun. But you have to be open to that. And I think that’s the biggest thing that I was open to it. And I didn’t look back on it as being courageous. Like I knew that I had to do something.
The pain was big enough to do something. I have to do something. Yeah. So when somebody says to you, Barbara, I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what I like I feel this nudge maybe to start a business but I’m not an entrepreneur. I don’t know what to do. So how do you help somebody start to clarify what they want and part of what you said earlier? You learned a little bit about what you don’t want. I was just great. White House value. But then what
value I knew that I because I had I was in the well I’ve been in the wellness face for years. And I knew I didn’t want to go back to the wellness company that I was already with that I was with, because that was something my husband and I had done together. So I knew I did not want to do that. However, so when online marketing, I went, Oh, this is something totally different. So that’s one of the things that I try to share with people. What is like, if you could do anything, and but you think the thing is that I, it starts with, okay, let’s sit down.
Let’s get quiet with ourselves. And number one, I have them do a mirror exercise, where they have to forgive themselves for whatever they have done in the past that isn’t serving them. Celebrate the things that they know how to do right now. And then commit that whatever comes, I’m going to take one step forward. Because one step is one step. Because from that one step, chances are the next step will appear.
Yeah. It’s I always think of it and what how I explained it to people is that it’s like driving through fog. You can see the road and you follow, you follow the yellow line down the road down the side of the road, or the yellow lines, it’s on the other side of the road, whatever you can see, but it’s if you’re driving through fog, you can only see a little bit ahead of you. And you just and you pray and really seriously, you pray you don’t hit something. But sometimes, that thing that you do hit Oh, oh, that nudges you just slightly off course. And that’s the thing you’re supposed to be doing.
Mm hmm. I love it. Yeah, that
so that’s how I explained it. But it starts with get quiet with yourself. Mm hmm. Give yourself for anything you’ve done in the past. Celebrate the things that you’re doing right now. What am I good at? And what so like this mirror exercise that I do? I will have them look in the mirror look themselves in the mirror. Okay, I am so proud of you. Like if you if it would be you, it’d be okay. Hailey, I want you to sit and look in the mirror. And Hailey I am so proud of you for Yeah, what comes up? Right. And that is such a powerful thing. Because you wait in the fit what is going to come up you know what, I because we are taught to not brag about our, hey, everything wrong with us.
Learn everything wrong, and you don’t and you’ll you don’t brag you don’t blow your own hole your own harm. You know, you you have to be humble, you know stuff. Because otherwise you’re a braggart. You know, especially, especially when men have a little bit easier time with it. They say, Yeah, that’s me. Right? They do. But women that we were kind of brought up to be a little bit more retiring would be a little bit more sedate, sedates little bill or lady like you so you don’t brag about yourself. So this is one of the things that, Hey, I am so proud of you for and then just look at yourself and wait for something to come up something will. And it could be something so minute. But it’ll be it’s the start.
Yeah. And it’s a way to learn about what brings you pride so that you can notice the things, I noticed everything I wrote down, or some of the things that were done had to do with helping someone else or teaching someone thing, or performing or something. So then you start to realize, Oh, I like that aspect of life. And so I want to incorporate that into whatever business decision I’m going to make or whatever.
And. I think also one thing that you’re kind of hitting on is like what are your principles in your life like what are your guiding anchors or values and yours one thing that keeps coming up is be open minded, be open. Here you are as a 71 year old woman, this is like love and life and just doing your thing and I love that and so what are and what some of my principles have to do with being decisive person being a decisive person.
So not sitting decision making. You might not be the right one, right. But you but but you know, because I always share with people that you know God did not God did not give us the ability to make the right decision every single solitary time. We are you are going to make so I have made so less than stellar decisions came back to bite me.
Absolutely. However, when you when we have the ability to mate once we have made a decision to find out how to make it Oh, okay, because sometimes making the wrong decision leads you down a path that oh, that’s the way I’m supposed to go. Right. Mm hmm. And again, goes back to be open, be open to an opportunity. Be open to meeting somebody. Yeah. Be open to nudge. Yeah.
Oh, just a small Inkling on good sides and bad sides. Like right now. I was planning a trip next. And I was starting to make flight arrangements. And it was the nudge that Barbara, what are you doing? What do you mean? Well, it’s kind of that inner check of the voice that Bart, what do you mean, what am I doing? I’m making flight arrangements. But they weren’t coming together quite well, of when I needed to be there. And when I wanted to come home. And it was like, oh, let’s step back a little bit. What, gee, am I supposed to even go? Huh? Oh, yeah.
Because we, the you were all part of the universe. Mm hmm. Whether somebody believes it or not, it’s like a friend of mine says You might not believe in gravity. But if you stop, if you come to the side of a building and walk off it, you’re going to drop, right. And so people might not think that you’re part that we’re all connected, but we are. And times it comes comes to us. It was just the just the weirdest feeling that, hey, I’m not, I’m not supposed to be doing this. And that you’ll have to, so you’ll know what not to do.
Like I knew after David died, what I didn’t want. Mm hmm. And that can be such a start. I knew what I didn’t want. Okay, so if I, if that’s not what I want, what do I want? And as you can ask a question, well, what do I want. And then comes into knowing your purpose. One of the things that I always tried to share with people too, is so often we think of purpose has been this huge, grandiose, Mother Teresa kind of purpose. It doesn’t have to be, it can be something small, like and not small, but succinct, and doesn’t have to be this huge thing that’s going to change the world. And yet it can, like my purpose is to serve God, than to learn and then to teach others what I learned. That’s it.
Yeah, that’s it. And, you know, one thing that’s resonating with me about purpose, because I did this whole course about, you know, what is your purpose and all that and, and it was great. And I, I, you know, kind of gotten clear on what that is for me. But in addition to that, what, what carries me through more, and what drives me more on a day to day basis, is, what’s my purpose right now for this thing, and being very intentional about everything.
Purpose discovery process
And I think there was a phrase I heard I think it comes from Wakeup Wealthy, which is like a brand for men, but I listened to a lot of men things. Purpose over pleasure, meaning in everything you do. If whether it’s a workout you’re doing, what’s your purpose for that workout was to feel good today is to have fun, it’s to not sit on my butt. And that would be pleasurable to sit on my butt.
But. My purpose is I want to live a long time. I want to feel good today. Or what’s you know, you want to start a business. But, you have the fear voice about it would just be safer to stay in the cave and not do anything and yet. Yeah, be pleasurable and watch tv And don’t try versus but you know, you have that bigger purpose. So anytime you can come back to that little mantra, like purpose, my purpose is greater than pleasure right now. And so I know this is scary. I know. I don’t feel like doing this. But this is something that I I’m is purpose driven right now.
Right? Yeah. You know, and sometimes for me, I always share with people, it doesn’t have to be your purpose. It’s it what word you use, like for me, it’s more my mission, my mission, I want people to be happy. And a story, that’s my mission. I want people to be happy. So but that so that impacts everything that I do of that. So my purpose is to learn, learn about happiness, and teach people how to be happy. Yeah. Oh, you know, it’s that simple. And when you find that little, but that’s comes from knowing, finding out the inside stuff, because it’s in us. Yeah, it is in us, but we have have to be open to the nudges that are in us.
Right? Exactly. Yes. Yes. So are where can everybody connect with you and get in touch with you?
Yeah, on LinkedIn is the best way or messenger, Facebook Messenger, I do have a free gift if I get if I remember, I think I mentioned that I’m a personality science trainer. That is one of the firsts, that was one of the first really big things that really helped me to know who I was. And. It’s a, it’s a freebie. And it’s, and I’ll give you the link, and you can post it. And so it’s just a Bitly link, and it’s just a https. Yes, all that kind of stuff, then a bit dot ly. And then it’s forward slash beingme2. And what what that did for me, was, oh, that’s why I do that. It just gave me a little bit of like, oh, that’s why I do that. Oh, that’s why I don’t like that.
And. What it did for me. And. I think this is one of the biggest things that I really work with, is quit beating yourself up for the things that you’re not. And celebrate the things that you are. Love it. We so often compare ourselves to the people around us, quit beating yourself up, because you’ll get a free report and it’s a freebie, you’ll get a free report.
And. It’ll just give you some strengths and, and why you like things, what you like what you don’t like, and so many of my people go, Oh, it’s absolutely spot on. So they asked me to be tagged me to the nth degree made me realize that oh, it’s okay that I don’t like that. It’s not part of my personality code. Yeah. And if it’s something that you want to work on, great, but if it’s not me, no, I have no interest in doing that and getting better at that. You let it go. Right. And that’s a big thing.
Totally. And I can tell you, my whole life changed when I started when I stopped not liking myself and being like, Ah, you need to change all this about yourself. And.Actually being like, hey. You know. We’re gonna be nice to ourselves.
And we’re already worthy. So now what, what do we want to do today? All right. Um, change? Yeah. And you just and you’d be surprised, like most people think, well, that’s gonna decrease my drive, or it’s gonna make me not work as hard because I’m not beating myself up.
But it’s the complete opposite. Opposite. Yeah. So thank you so much, Barbara. And I’ll be sure to grab that link and put it in the health coach nation podcast show notes when the show goes live. Live on Facebook. So yay for that, and I’ll talk to you soon. All right. Thanks again for having me, Hailey. Have a great day.
About Barbara Ellison
Barbara Ellison is a Midlife Mentor, Wellness Brand Partner, and Entrepreneur. She currently resides in Illinois.
Resources
- Personality Assessment Bank
- Complimentary Business Consult
- Health Coach Nation: Marketing, Business, & Mindset for Health Coaches
You can find Barbara on her website here.
